my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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