He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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