I want to stick my p in your. b.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
