I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I need a burrito and a hug.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
