he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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