when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
