people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
