I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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