i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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