Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
birth control should be required to get into college
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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