Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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