Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
