i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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