shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize