Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
