Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
