I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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