I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
