I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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