I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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