btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
