just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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