You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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