I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
