That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
