hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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