It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
They took my balls.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
