I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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