a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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