I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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