need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
