We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize