She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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