He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize