Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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