Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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