If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
