Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
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So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
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Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.