i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it