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• (312): View more from Illinois

  You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?

  Fav 23 921 2194

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

  Fav 79 9946 1814

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  You love me.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  That's because, tragically, I adore whores.

  Fav 29 8542 1916

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.

  Fav 11 5202 1728

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• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.

  Fav 14 8179 1813

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.

  Fav 14 8672 1118

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.

  Fav 10 4861 1224

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.

  Fav 6 2781 1211

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.

  Fav 10 1825 731

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• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  Best Friends For Life.

  Fav 7 3736 965

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• (914): View more from New York

  Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off

  Fav 8 1591 896

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.

  Fav 2 836 470

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• (813): View more from Florida

  It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.

  Fav 0 209 172

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.

  Fav 11 18 209

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.

  Fav 0 67 13

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