Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week