I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?