Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.

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(330): i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow. http://tfl.nu/ez44

Replies (11) Good night (3411) Bad night (673)
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(205): View more from Alabama

So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.

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(205): So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God. http://tfl.nu/2tiv

Replies (50) Good night (4434) Bad night (723)
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(801): View more from Utah

He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.

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(801): He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face. http://tfl.nu/vz1o

Replies (79) Good night (8938) Bad night (3172)
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(303): View more from Colorado

What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?

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(303): What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil? http://tfl.nu/rel9

Replies (22) Good night (5166) Bad night (1518)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.

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(570): Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful. http://tfl.nu/oenz

Replies (6) Good night (1782) Bad night (1012)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..

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(507): Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival.. http://tfl.nu/pwlv

Replies (6) Good night (1485) Bad night (606)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.

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(413): Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun. http://tfl.nu/n06t

Replies (8) Good night (2761) Bad night (711)
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(708): View more from Illinois

That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!

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(708): That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed! http://tfl.nu/bhfj

Replies (5) Good night (1869) Bad night (663)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.

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(541): Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/gw56

Replies (9) Good night (825) Bad night (2061)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother

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(978): Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother http://tfl.nu/l2x9

Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (1574)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.

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(937): I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem. http://tfl.nu/odx7

Replies (22) Good night (1523) Bad night (514)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.

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(610): Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol. http://tfl.nu/y192

Replies (1) Good night (1541) Bad night (456)
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(512): View more from Texas

Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.

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(512): Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess. http://tfl.nu/vcjk

Replies (1) Good night (784) Bad night (318)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I just cured my dogs munchies

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(908): I think I just cured my dogs munchies http://tfl.nu/38nb

Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (320)
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(212): View more from New York

No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.

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(212): No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home. http://tfl.nu/seek

Replies (7) Good night (2138) Bad night (365)

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