Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady http://tfl.nu/uziv
  Replies (21) Good night (1885) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome http://tfl.nu/zb92
  Replies (30) Good night (2773) Bad night (6424)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid. (215): While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here. http://tfl.nu/jz3m
  Replies (17) Good night (564) Bad night (2390)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now http://tfl.nu/0gky
  Replies (28) Good night (2180) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button http://tfl.nu/bgvc
  Replies (11) Good night (2677) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings http://tfl.nu/n8bz
  Replies (24) Good night (4165) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile. http://tfl.nu/y928
  Replies (5) Good night (5409) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup. http://tfl.nu/5rlq
  Replies (5) Good night (996) Bad night (2647)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona.. http://tfl.nu/wgkj
  Replies (5) Good night (2705) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories. http://tfl.nu/6x0g
  Replies (1) Good night (2057) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second. http://tfl.nu/m6sh
  Replies (5) Good night (924) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me... http://tfl.nu/pbqy
  Replies (6) Good night (2936) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh http://tfl.nu/hnvd
  Replies (6) Good night (1586) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (076): View more from

  He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (076): He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid. http://tfl.nu/ww4m
  Replies (3) Good night (974) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have tan lines from my nipple rings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): I have tan lines from my nipple rings. http://tfl.nu/n8t0
  Replies (6) Good night (839) Bad night (307)

Randomize