I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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