her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
