i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Let's get the cat blown out
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize