So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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