Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
