We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
