i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
