im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
