She's JV to your varsity
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize