Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
