I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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