I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
