Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.