I look better un-naked...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.