haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.