Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
