I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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