singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
