If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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