How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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