I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
