it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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